The Never-Ending Yo-Yo

I was listening the other day to a children's CD in the Caravan with the kids. The boys kept asking me to play a song ironically entitled "The Song that Never Ends". It truly felt like the song and the drive would never end. I feel like that is similar to the emotional yo-yo of life with Little M. Little M herself is mostly joy...temper tantrums have added a few moments of frustration. However, I am so happy and feel so blessed to have little M. However, dealing with therapists and doctors and trying to work on goals often leaves me in this constant swing of emotional good and bad days. The pendulum has at least slowed down and I would even say it spends more time on the up swing than down in the last 6 months. However, just when I think I'm content and have fully accepted our life now, I realize that it is not quite accurate. After a speech session last week, the therapist said how pleased she is with M. To which...despite knowing better, I couldn't resist asking, is there any way we can know yet if she'll speak. That seems to be a consistent issue with chilrden with Trisomy 8, so it is one of the nagging unknowns that I'm eager to reveal. The therapist explained that unfortunately it's too early to tell, but we've got a lot of things that make her hopeful. She already at a 10 month level. Now I think that those words were meant to be a comfort. She's progressing. They certainly shouldn't have been a surprise. We've known for over 15 months that Little M would be developmentally delayed...but something in me what still shocked and saddened by the 5 month lag. I think it is because in my little bubble, she rocks! She's a superstar. She exceeds my expectations and is absolutely amazing. and she is. If only we could live in a world where she really was never compared. Where there were no base lines or standard achievement levels. I can be in that world at home, but like it or not, it's not the reality when we step out in the greater world. People offer advice...saying just focus on her and don't compare...but they are not faced with the barrage of assessments and tests and even just the simply reality of watching kids her age and being unable to not notice their abilities. I'm glad that I have a hope that goes beyond the daily experiences, or I'm not sure how long I would last on this ride...although as a mother, there is generally no exit options...but there are spa retreats.