Choosing Joy in the Good Times

Little M's therapy this week was beyond my expectations. She met with her occupational therapist who she hasn't seen in a month. A month ago she was approximately 4 to 5 months delayed developmentally. She was working towards releasing toys, object permanence, crawling, trying to drink from a cup, trying to work towards solid foods and putting food to her mouth...to name a few goals. This session, she picked up balls and placed them in a gumball machine, releasing them consistently in the targeted hole and then pressing a button to have them travel down the machine. She then looked and found the missing balls...object permanence. She had started crawling, although that has not progressed this week. Then she drank half a sippy cup of juice. She has started eating small pieces of fruit and cheese and toast and is getting them into her mouth and eating them without chocking. As I talked and the therapist worked, she began to take notes and more notes. She finally said, I have to write this all down because I won't be to remember all the changes that I'm seeing. She is doing amazing. She is doing all the things that a child her age should be doing developmentally. Those words overwhelmed me...seriously...this was more than I could expect. The only thing that I was told by the specialists when she was born was that she would be delayed. She still is physically, but to be cognitively up to speed...what can I say. More tears of joy. I've struggled finding the balance between hope and acceptance. It is hard to accept when you don't know what you're accepting, so each day is a surprise. We try to live in the day...what a great day! It is easy to be joyful in the good times and I'm trying very hard to stay there. It's also easy to let doubt and fear of the future cloud those moments. I want to add a clause...but she still might not walk or talk. However, I think this is the other part of choosing joy. When you have moments when it comes easy, you still need to make a conscious decision to be thankful and focus on that...not rob those moments with anxiety about the future. God's got that in His hands too!