Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

We celebrated baby M's 1st birthday this week. Despite fancy decorations and party plans...little M's birthday was very simple. She spent it with a runny nose and harsh cough and two sick brothers at home with mom and dad. There was a moment of sadness as I reflected over how much she has been through this year. We really could have used a celebration rather than one more hurdle. However, we tried to make the best of it and were able to celebrate in a simpler way. The day was slow to start, but once we got dressed the fun began. The boys picked out an ornate pink gown for Little M to wear around the house. It was a gift from her Great-Grandparent's sibling in Germany. I will admit that it gave me the giggles to put her in a glitter and lace covered dress because of the dress itself and because of her runny nose and matted hair. However, the boys eyes lit up as they told me to never change her from her beautiful outfit. Despite my original thoughts, the dress did look quite cute on her and we ended up sneaking over to the neighbour's ornate garden and taking some pictures. We were going to venture out to purchase a few helium balloons as a special treat, but were spared the trip as a good friend arrived with that very thing...along with a stuffed pink cow. Little M loved both gifts and played with them until nap time. During nap time, the boys and I determined to use some of our home grown zucchini to make a chocolate zucchini birthday cake for their sister. It was officially the first time that we successfully baked together. I continually hear happy stories of family baking time...but despite efforts have never achieved such a feat until then. We worked as a well functioning team despite a minor flour spill and made a rather tasty end product. Little M wasn't as thrilled as we were by the cake but enjoyed the singing and watching the candles. We saved her gift for the big family party that was to be held tomorrow, but was unfortunately cancelled due to all the sickness in our house. A good choice as brother #2 went to bed tonight covered in a matching rash and fever as that of brother #1. What a birthday! However, despite the deviation from plans and the fact that it is rather sad to see a sick baby...her birthday still was a celebration. I could have never imagined that journey that our family would have faced this year...however, one day at a time, by God's grace...we've not only survived her first year but had many wonderful moments. I feel like most days had moments of grief and trials mixed with joy and triumphs. It seems like we walk a fine line between the two...never sure which side we will step into at any moment in time. Little M herself is pure joy. I love seeing the progress she's made this year and the little girl she is being revealed to us. She is a happy girl and truly a gift to us. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to see her for who she is rather than the disorder. My perspective on her and her diagnoses has definitely altered over the course of the year. There are moments where I am still overwhelmed or saddened, but in general I do not feel that we are burdened. I feel blessed. I am so thankful for my beautiful daughter and God's sustaining hand. Hundreds of appointments, hundreds of tears, hundreds of smiles, what a year!