Lowering Great Expectations

A couple of weeks ago I had an interesting discussion with my husband. We were talking about life and how much I was enjoying it...or not. I was saddened to hear that his perception was that about 80% of my days were "bad" days. I was ready to pipe in that he was way off because he only sees the end of my day when I am running out of steam...etc...but realized that at the end of the day, he was probably right. The strange part was that I feel happy. I love my husband and kids. I have great friends. I have a nice home and all my needs are met. I feel content with life and I truly feel peaceful. So why was I feeling like so many days were "bad". As I thought about this some more, I realized it was because at the end of the day, I was rarely meeting my criteria for a "good" day. I felt like a "good" day required one on one meaningful play time with each child and some significant work towards house cleanliness. Most of my days, though fairly happy, were spent on only surviving. Providing basic care for all the needs of my family. I realized that I couldn't change the fact that at this stage, with these children, basic care is going to take most of my day. The only option I had in changing the outcome of how I felt at the end of the day, was by changing my expectations. Instead of having one-on-one time daily with each kid playing...I try to engage with them and enjoy the moments I have caring for them. We decided that instead of having me try to vacuum and dust and clean bathrooms to no avail throughout the week, and then feel like I failed every day, we would make it priority to do those things every other Saturday. Although this is much less often than I would consider necessary, I am learning to let go of some things in order to find balance. It is amazing how happy I've been the last two weeks. I have truly felt like 95% of the days have been good..great even. Amazingly, I have even found a little time to vacuum and play, however, I am learning that those are not the foundation for a good day. I need to love my kids and demonstrate that love and joy through the daily tasks...that's all. I guess with that in mind, I can hardly consider my expectations lowered, just shifted...and finally attainable.